Love Society – Part 3 – Hilary Cottam

We had the privilege of welcoming the ever wonderful Hilary Cottam to Morecambe Bay for our ‘Love Society’ event. If you have not read her book ‘Radical Help – How We Remake the Relationships Between us and Revolutionise the Welfare State’, then I would massively recommend that you do so. But as a little teaser, grab a cuppa, sit back, and enjoy this masterclass in the practicalities of how we build a loving society that works for us all. It is such common-sense but takes bravery and creative leadership to experiment in new ways.

 

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Love People! – Part 2

Continue reading “Love People! – Part 2”

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Learning to Rest

At the end of last year, I very nearly burnt out. As a GP with a bunch of other responsibilities, I was finding it really hard to switch off and allowed my work to encroach on other parts of my life. I got really tired and felt stretched beyond my capacity. I knew this because my body told me so, but I was also becoming less caring, less compassionate, less patient and less focussed.

 

Then I read a couple of books about rest and I remembered some things I had forgotten. When I was a boy, I never worked on a Sunday. I’m the son of a preacher-man and we never worked on a Sunday. We would spend time with our community, eat lunch together, go for a walk, play some games, maybe catch a movie, but there was no work – none. Rest, it turns out, is not only vital for the human body, but it is seriously good for the soul. It is also the greatest piece of resistance against the ‘system’ and the ‘ego’ that I know of.

 

I have remembered to rest and put some things in place to help me do so, and I have honestly never felt so well. I actively look forward to stopping and out of this place of rest, I have found I can flow into the rest of my week with so much more kindness and grace, without feeling overwhelmed. It has given me a new perspective on the rest of life and enabled me to function without much stress or deal with stress more holistically.

 

On a Saturday evening (just because this is the time that works best for us as a family), we turn off all screens and all emails. We don’t do any work – no homework, no work, no nothing. We try and keep any household chores to an absolute minimum and take time to be. No shopping (because we resist the narrative that says we don’t have enough), nothing strenuous – just what makes our souls happy – not in a hedonistic way, but in a restorative way, so that we can live from a place of life-giving, others-empowering love the rest of the week. We have developed patterns that make sense of who we are – lazy breakfasts, time with community, gentle walks, good food, board games, time – wasting time – together.

 

I know it’s really counter-cultural these days – we wear busyness like a badge of honour. But busyness is isolating us, stressing us out and killing us. I once heard a preacher-man say that only the devil is always busy, but God knows how to rest. Rest takes humility. It means recognising that life goes on without me. But it also recognises that who I am and what I do is important and so I need to be replenished in order to be healthy and well. I can’t tell you how many people have told me how well I look!

 

So, if you’ve forgotten how to stop, reflect, connect and be renewed, then I offer this to you as a gift. Take a day off – I mean a real good rest, once a week – it’s harder than you think…..but there is little else I know of that will bring fresh hope and life to every part of you.

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Poeting an Alternative Future

As part of the ‘love and kindness’ series on the Black Swan Podcast, I interviewed the brilliant  and award winning Spoken Word Poet, Matt Sowerby. Matt is 18 and lives in Morecambe Bay. I find his words to be beautiful, challenging and moving. Here are the links on iTunes and Spotify if you want to hear him perform and listen to us discussing a variety of things from education, to climate change strikes and politics. Hope you enjoy! You can also find his poem ‘breadlines’, which didn’t make it onto the podcast on YouTube with his other work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Poverty Truth Commission – Podcast

One of the things I have most enjoyed and also felt privileged to be a part of over the last couple of year has been the ‘Poverty Truth Commission’. Here is a podcast I have done with some of the incredible community commissioners, here in Morecambe Bay about how a ‘together with’ approach to life makes a massive difference. It’s part of the series on how love and kindness are truly transformational. You can find out more about the Poverty Truth Commission through YouTube

 

Here are the links to the podcasts depending on your listening preferences!

 

iTunes

 

Spotify

 

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The Rise of Antidepressants

The BBC ran a news piece today about the massive rise in use of antidepressants in England and Wales over the last 10 years. And depending on which study you believe between 1 in 11 and 1 in 6 people in England are now on an antidepressant (though we must remember, that antidepressants can be used for other conditions like pain management and irritable bowel syndrome – IBS). In the USA, antidepressants are now the second biggest group of prescribed drugs.

 

So, what should we conclude? Well, firstly, it is good news that it has become much more acceptable for people to talk about struggling with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. It is good that people are going to see their GP when they feel depressed and anxious, rather than just trying to cope with it. So, we mustn’t now necessarily insinuate that the increase in prescriptions is a bad thing, because firstly, that can heap shame on those who are taking them, which is unhelpful at so many levels and also, we need to remember that there is actually a good evidence-base behind anti-depressant medication. They really do work – I’ve seen that again and again for my patients, who choose to go on them, and for sure, I would love to see more psychological therapies available on the NHS, as an alternative or as an adjunct to medication. Waiting lists are currently far too long for such therapeutic interventions and many people choose medication because they cannot afford to pay for therapy or indeed to wait several months for the help they need. We don’t report the use of antihypertensives to control blood pressure negatively and so we need to be careful about taking a dim view of medications which help improve mental health.

 

However, when so many in our society are struggling with anxiety and depression to this extent (and it’s really positive that we’re talking about it and that people are getting help), we need to ask ourselves some big questions about the root causes of this and what we can do as a nation to improve our mental health. One of all time favourite quotes is that of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, when he says:

 

“There comes a point, where we have to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they are falling in.”

 

So, in the rest of this blog, I’m going to explore some root causes, whilst recognising that for many people, endogenous depression (i.e. a neurochemical cause in the brain) IS the root cause, and therefore their depression may not have any other roots to it.  I’ve also done this vlog (which I did for mental health awareness week) about what depression is and some of the things that can help.

 

But in looking for root causes, let’s start at the beginning. I’ve written on this blog a number of times about the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences and the impact of Trauma on our lives. So many of us live with unhealed pain, which over time eats away at us and makes it harder for us to remain mentally well. Many of us go through trauma and are able to survive it better than others, but that is because we’ve had other things in our lives at the time which have helped us navigate the storm. However, we need to recognise more the massive reality of trauma in our lives, so that we can face it, and find healing together. This is one of the reasons why I’ve co-written ‘The Little Book of ACEs’ with some friends and colleagues, here in Morecambe Bay. There is a free PDF version of it, if you click here. You may also find this inspiring talk by Jaz Ampur-Farr, herself a survivor of significant trauma, really helpful. Jaz is joining us in Morecambe Bay very soon, to explore some of these issues.

 

We must also be brave enough to recognise that we have a complex corporate history, which shapes our identity and we have a society, which is by no means equal or fair. Prof Bev Skeggs, and Prof Imogen Tyler, two of the foremost sociology professors in the UK/world right now, are writing so powerfully about this. It’s well worth digging into their work, and I am so excited that they are here at Lancaster University, in Morecambe Bay, and will be exploring some of these issues with us in more depth over the next few months. We cannot underestimate how injustice, poverty, and inequality impacts our mental health.

 

Stress has a hugely negative impact on our mental health. Our work patterns have become so manic and busy and our weekends often so full, that we have forgotten how to rest, how to stop, how to switch off and take notice of the beauty all around us – of the things which really matter. This takes a huge toll on us. The girl guides took part in a fascinating survey about what causes them stress and feeds mental health issues. The number one factor was the pressure they feel to do well at school. Our very systems and the treadmill of the exams are making our young people unwell. The idea of slowing down and learning to switch off from our ever faster, consumerist world, seems laughable to so many of us – and yet I would argue that this is one of the greatest causes of our ill-being. We have created an economy which treats people like fodder for the economic machine and is literally killing the planet around us – another underlying huge but often unrecognised cause of our stress. We must rebuild an economy based on wellbeing. It’s why I’m so excited that we’ll be welcoming Prof Katherine Trebeck to Morecambe Bay in the next few weeks.

 

Another causative factor of our growing mental illness in society, perhaps caused by all the busyness, is loneliness and isolation. Despite our many frantic activities, and social networking, 20% of the UK population say they feel lonely, but that jumps to between 50 and 75% of people over 75. We were made to be in relationship. When we are disconnected from community, we become sad and low. We need to remember how to love people, and also to be loved. Our disconnection is leading to increased separation, suspicion of others and a rise in racism and hatred. This is in no way good for our mental health. Valerie Kaur explores this so powerfully in her incredible TED talk on revolutionary love. We need to reimagine a society in which relationship is at the core of our being together. Hilary Cottam’s work is so vital in helping us recover this. Again, Hilary is coming to the Bay in the coming months to help us dig deeper as a community into these ideas.

 

I am so glad that we are talking about mental health so much more seriously. I am glad that people are able to take medication that can help them and that the stigma is being broken. I am hopeful though that we can recognise together just how broken our society is, and how our current political and economic systems (including our beloved health system) cannot fix this. Perhaps, in learning to be together in the dark, when we cannot see the light, wrestling with the complexity of our pain, healing our trauma and reimagining our future, we might find that our need for medication decreases.

 

 

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Love and Kindness in Action

This latest podcast is a conversation with some incredible people from ‘The Well’ community, here in Morecambe Bay, talking about their own very personal journeys from addiction into recovery. Listen as they talk about hitting rock bottom, ego surrender, tough love, hard truth and transformative kindness and how in being with each other, they have learnt how to love themselves and walk into freedom. This is love and kindness in action and we can all learn from these truly beautiful human beings. Click on iTunes or Spotify links below and enjoy!

iTunes

spotify

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Recovery From Addiction – Podcast

Here is the lastest edition of the ‘Black Swan Podcast’ – available on iTunes, Spotify, Alexa and anypod.net

 

This one is with my good friend, Dave Higham, founder and CEO of ‘The Well’ – an incredible community of recovering addicts, here in Morecambe Bay. This one focuses on Dave’s own story through addiction and prison (where he’s spent more than half his life) and his journey of transformation and hope. This podcast is unmissable and (along with the next one, which is a group podcast with other members from ‘The Well’) has some of the best examples I know of how love and kindness practically restores lives and rebuilds communities – a prime example of the new politics and economics we need!

 

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/black-swan-podcast/id1454670907?mt=2#episodeGuid=Buzzsprout-984751

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The Black Swan Podcast

I’m super excited to announce the launch of a new podcast: “Black Swan Podcast”

 

Until 1791, people in the UK assumed all swans were white. Then a black swan was brought to these shores and so perspectives and previously held beliefs and opinions had to change. Sometimes anomalies cause us to stop and think and change our mind, or shift our thinking about something. Our current political and economics systems are not socially just for humanity and are incapable of giving us a future that is sustainable for the planet. This podcast explores anomalous examples of where other possibilities are emerging, which challenge our long held ideologies and allows us to open our eyes and reimagine an altogether different future, based on self-giving, others-empowering love, kindness and positive peace.

 

So, initially by talking with people around this amazing area of Morecambe Bay, and then looking further afield, gathering stories of some beautiful people about their lives and work, I’m looking to stir up more hope and add to the growing tapestry that is emerging of the kind of future that will be good for future generations. I’m still learning how to do this and the quality will improve as time goes on (!) – but welcome to the journey – subscribe for free and be encouraged and challenged as we all learn to see things in new ways.

 

You can listen through most podcast browsers, except google play, which isn’t available in the UK yet for uploading. The RSS feed and the iTunes link are below.

 

https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/261272.rss

 

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/black-swan-podcast/id1454670907?mt=2

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Black Swans and Poverty

Here is a copy of the speech I recently gave at Morecambe Food Bank when Heidi Allen MP and Frank Field MP came to be with us and to listen to the community here in Morecambe Bay about our experiences of poverty. There were some incredibly moving testimonies from community commissioners of the poverty truth commission. This was my contribution:

 

First of all I would like to start by saying thank you. Thank you to all of you for being here to talk about these really important issues. Thank you to my friends, Karen, Emily and Daniel for being brave enough to stand up today, to tell your stories and to allow yourselves to vulnerable and to be heard. Thank you to my friend Siobhan for being willing to speak out consistently about the realities that children in your school and this surrounding area are living with, and for doing so, despite unfair and untrue things being said about you in the public domain. Thank you to Annette and the team here at Morecambe Foodbank for your hospitality, generosity and welcome here today and for all the ways in which you provide for people in this community.

 

Thank you to Si Bellamy from the Eden Project – we’re so grateful for the hope that your partnership brings to this area and for the common values we share in wanting to uncover and deal with our deep systemic issues and injustices and co-create an economy and way of being as community that really works for humanity and the planet. Thank you to so many of our friends across the voluntary and public sectors for being here today and demonstrating our sense of unity in working together with our communities. And thank you Heidi Allen and Frank Field for choosing to work across your differences and to come and be with us today and to listen.

 

Today is not only about Morecambe. Morecambe is an amazing town full of wonderful people and there is a huge amount to be celebrated here. In fact, we could be having this same conversation, with similar but different and important communities across the water in Barrow, or over in Scarborough or down in Hastings because these same issues are found everywhere. Today is about coming together to really listen and to the reality of just how complex some of the issues we’re facing really are, like poverty, and the way it intertwines with many other aspects of our lives, for example our health and wellbeing.

 

Until 1791 people in England believed all swans were white. That was until a black swan arrived on these shores, brought here from Australia. Sometimes we can hold extremely fixed positions and ideas in our minds, until we are confronted by something which causes us to see the world differently. One of the truths about poverty is that it is an incredibly complex and wicked problem. And so it doesn’t help to entrench ourselves in our positions and throw stones at one another once those ideas are challenged.”

 

Robert Peston was right in his devastating analysis that we have become divided. So quickly we enter a blame game over poverty. “It’s your fault I’m poor”, “no, it’s your fault you’re poor”. But all this does is create more polarity, more distance between us as we become ever more entrenched in the certainty of our own arguments and perspectives. But that way of being is failing us, the 3 million children living in poverty and the hundreds and thousands of people who are now destitute. Trying to solve complex issues with overly simple questions is landing us in a mess! We want quick answers and we want to fix things but we do not appreciate the unintended violence of our policies and projects because we have not taken the time to listen, to understand or learn together. But when we do, we discover that not all swans are white and we begin to realise that we can longer continue to see the world that way.

 

The theologian, Samuel Wells, speaks of poverty as not being primarily about deficit, a concept that leads us into blame and heroism. Rather, he recognises that it is our dislocation, our isolation, our separation which is the real root cause of our issues. And so, here in Morecambe Bay, not only through the poverty truth commission, with the mantra that “nothing about me without me is for me”, but in many facets of our life together, including in the NHS, where I have the privilege of working both as a GP and as Director of Population Health that it is in togetherness, through relationship in which we are creating the space to build trust, to ask some really difficult questions and in the process we discover the reality of our pain and despair in one hand and in the other, as Barack Obama would say, we hold the audacity of hope, despite it all.

 

There are things to which together we are saying, “Enough now”. Enough now that some children in our communities cannot afford to eat, despite their parents being ‘back in work’ – and we are so grateful for the youth and community projects that open early to ensure kids get breakfast on the way to school and tea on the way home, despite a real struggle for resources. Enough now of the adverse childhood experiences or traumas through which many of our children our living, massively impacting their physical, mental and social health for years to come. Enough now of the reality that some children living in this Bay can expect to live at least 10 years less than children growing up just 6 miles down the road, with a far poorer quality of life along the way. And as we say enough now to those things and many more human and environmental injustices, we discover that the answers are not found in our current opposing political or economic models. Rather we are finding that together we can begin to create new possibilities of how we can re-imagine and build a future that works for every person and the planet.

 

In actual fact, learning to live well together is really difficult. It takes humility, forgiveness, kindness, breaking down hostility and replacing it with love. It means taking a good hard look at ourselves rather than pointing a finger of judgement at others. It means letting go of mechanistic thinking to fix things and embracing the reality of complex living systems. It means recognising that change starting with us. For me that means dealing with my own ego, my wounds, my root needs, my genealogy, my white male privilege, our colonial history and discovering that it is in encountering the ‘other’, someone utterly different to me that I am changed and I encounter in that person, the very face of God.

 

And so not only are we saying “enough now” to things which must change, but won’t change with our current ‘go to’ solutions, we are also finding that “together we can”. Here in Morecambe Bay, through working together as communities, we are seeing many dozens of initiatives emerging, like our food poverty project, our mental health cafes, community choirs and new partnerships forming across the voluntary, faith and public sectors working on issues like addiction and early intervention in neighbourhoods.

 

We are finding that together we can break down walls of division and find kinder ways of building society. Together we can see different perspectives and change our opinions and views. Together we can discover models of business based on mutuality and sustainability. Together we can help each other take more personal and corporate responsibility, whilst recognising how much easier that is for some than others and so together we can create compassionate communities.

 

Together we can face up to the challenges we see in our NHS and social care with the eye-watering savings we are being asked to make. Together we can ensure every child has a great start in life, we can build an education system that works for every child and face up to the growing mental health crisis in our young people.

 

Together we can ensure that our elderly citizens are respected and cared for. Together we can live in streets that are clean and safe, with every person having a warm, dry home to sleep in. Together we can face up to the environmental disasters which lie ahead if we don’t change. Together we can build a social movement for change with a different kind of power and discover a politics and economics that works for every person and the sustainability of the planet, based on self-giving, others-empowering love, empathy and kindness. And as we are here together today, together, through policy and through partnership we can ensure that no child goes hungry and every life matters. So, I am looking forward to listening and to learning together, through our conversations here today. Thank you.”

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