Curiosity killed the Kat?

This is a blog mini series on leadership and culture.

In the introductory post, I explained why I think cocks make terrible leaders but CHICKENs make great leaders! To refresh your memory, CHICKENs are leaders who outwork the values of:

Curiosity

Humility

Inclusivity

Compassion

Kindness

Empowerment

Nourishment

My wife, Kat, is hands down the best person I know. A total CHICKEN.

One of her best qualities and one of the reasons I love her, is her incredible and insatiable curiosity.

When she was training as a therapist, her mentor was always saying to her, ‘stay curious!’

And she does. She is. Curious. Not as in strange or unusual. But as in, she is genuinely interested to learn and know more about people. She has this incredible ability, to lock eyes with someone, let them know she deeply cares about them, tilt her head to the side and create a beautifully safe space in which her curiosity helps unlock healing for people. Amazing. And it’s never killed her – not even once.

Curiosity is such an important quality and for me now a core value, in life generally, but especially in leadership. Perhaps it is far too unusual as a quality valued in leadership.

Curiosity allows us to suspend our judgments. It stops us from thinking that we know it all. It allows us to be surprised, to ask better questions, to dig a little deeper. Curiosity prevents us from assuming we know the answer before we have really heard and seen what is emerging. It allows us to celebrate difference, recognise uniqueness and opens up new possibilities. It is open handed and tender hearted. It holds complexity and is not afraid to feel insecure in the ‘not-knowing’.

We all know what happens when we are not curious. We keep on trying to answer the questions in front of us with the same old mechanistic answers. And then we wonder why we don’t see the changes we need.

Curiosity allows you to look at data about a group of people and then go and sit with them to find out whether or not that is, in fact, their lived experience. Curiosity enables you to explore why things might not be working and to discover creative ways of engaging with the issue at hand. Curiosity is deeply joyful because it can open up new paths, fresh perspectives and exciting new potentials.

One of the best leaders I have met is Ellie McNeil, Chief Executive of YMCA Together. There’s a good reason why it is considered to be the best charity in the UK to work for!

Image from YMCA Together Website

One of the things Ellie has done so well as a leader is to instil curiosity in all of her team and volunteers.

She uses Cognitive Analytical Therapy (CAT) as a means to developing compassionate leadership throughout the organisation. In other words, she encourages everyone to be actively curious about why they might treat one person differently to another, or why they might have a particular reaction in a given situation. It allows people to be kind, to ask better questions of themselves and others and be honest about what is going on inside themselves in any interaction.

In my team, we’ve recently had some difficult conversations about finance. I found it so interesting that when we introduced the topic of conversation, every persons body language changed. Having learned from Ellie, I simply asked them to notice this, to reflect on it, to be curious about what changes in them when we start to talk about money. Then we postponed the conversation and brought it back next time with people being more self-aware about what was happening in them and for them.

If we’re going to develop truly caring organisations in the NHS and social care, we need to develop genuine curiosity. What’s going on in me? I wonder what’s going on in you? What’s really happening here?

In every consultation I have with a patient, I’m asking myself these questions: What’s your story? What matters to you? What do we know? What do we not know? What do we need to know? How can we find out? What are we going to do with the information when we make those discoveries? What choices will you make about your own care, once we know the options?

Curiosity never killed anyone in health and social care. On the contrary, it literally saves thousands of lives. It is a lack of it that is dangerous.

So…..Don’t be a cock. Be a CHICKEN – it starts with being curious.

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Don’t be a COCK! Be a CHICKEN!

I’ve not been blogging for a while…… because I’ve been writing my first book. Whoop!

“Your first BOOK?!” you say.

That’s right, people! – It’s called ‘Sick Society: Reimaging How we Live Well Together’ – it’ll be out in the Autumn and I’m pretty excited about it! I’ll let you know when you can pre-order, but they’ll be a book launch and everything…..not long now…..

In the mean time, I’ve been thinking quite a lot about leadership and culture. I’ve written on here before about how we create a culture of joy and what it takes to do so. I’ve also blogged about how to build a culture of kindness which is something I believe lies at the heart of all good health and social care (something that evidence supports hugely – including better outcomes in cancer).

Everyone knows a COCK when they see one. Am I right?! If I asked you to describe the behaviour of a cock, I imagine you’d come up with a list like this:

Strutting – Cocks have a particular kind of walk – you know the kind of walk I mean

Crowing – Cocks love to brag about their accomplishments but fail to honour their team

Puffing – Cocks puff their chest out to make themselves seem bigger than they are

Dominating – Cocks have an over developed sense of self-importance and dominate spaces rather than making room for others

Bullying – Cocks are often real bullies and don’t know how to apologise

But Cocks don’t actually make good leaders. They don’t develop the kind of cultures in which everyone can thrive. Rather, it is they who want to be noticed and fussed over. They like to be known to be in charge. They don’t listen well. They don’t include others. In the end, it is all about them – the top of the pyramid.

But chickens….chickens are where it’s at! Chickens are values-led leaders who create the kind of cultures in which everyone gets to become their best self. Chickens create an environment where everyone keeps learning. I think these are the core values of CHICKEN leaders:

C – Curiosity

H – Humility

I – Inclusivity

C – Compassion

K – Kindness

E – Empowerment

N – Nourishment

Each leadership value deserves its own post to unpack it a little more. But in the mean time, if you are leading, don’t be a cock. Be a CHICKEN.

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