Love Society – Part 2 – Triads, Weaving a Web and Panel

Bev Skeggs gave us so much to think and talk about with each other. If you haven’t had a chance to watch her amazing talk yet, then please do so! You can find it in Part 1 of this blog series. She left us with a question – “How can we build value with those who are devalued?”

 

 

One of my favourite ways to explore big questions like this (and there are many methods we use through our ‘art of hosting’ training) is Triads. Triads is a simple and effective way of helping people have really meaningful conversations whilst being deeply listened to. It’s a very powerful experience. It involves breaking into groups of three (obviously). One person is the ‘speaker’, one person is the ‘listener’ and the other is the ‘witness’. The listener asks the speaker the question that everyone is exploring. The speaker then has 10-15 minutes (depending on time constraints) to answer the question in whatever way they want to. The listener listens deeply, might ask some more questions, or encourage the speaker to unpack what they’ve said a bit more. They stay curious, trying to draw out the wisdom of the speaker, but not slipping into the role of ‘speaker’ themselves. At the end of the time, the listener reflects back what they have heard. The witness holds the whole process and watches over the time and might offer some reflections of the process or things that have gone unspoken or unheard. Then everyone swaps round into different roles, so that by the end of 40-45 minutes, everyone has had a turn in each role.

 

When everyone was back in the room together and after a good coffee break, we asked the triads to reflect on the following question (moving from singular to combined wisdom – from ‘me’ to ‘we’), having heard from each person in turn: “What have we discovered that  builds value?” 

 

Each triad (or pair of triads) was then asked to come up with one sentence that captured their corporate wisdom. Here are the sentences that were spoken into the room – they are worthy of much reflection. I love how much synergy can come from a diverse group of people!

What have we discovered that builds value?

Non-judgemental education from an early age builds intrinsic value into everyday life, regardless of circumstances.

We have found in the Poverty Truth Commission that through listening, understanding develops, people recover value and become actively involved in pathways forward.

Trusting that we can subvert pre-packaged judgements and values for the value of the common good.

Accepting that we all make judgements, we grow awareness of how to work with judgments in a positive way that is empowering.

Positively engage with and welcome ‘others’ without judgement and recognise the value of individual contributions.

Discovering/Recognising/Empowering/Encouraging/Nurturing the fact we all have unique value and have power in value.

Value (like energy) cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be recognised/transformed/moved around/flow.

Removing prejudices, titles and labels – going back to our humanity and finding joy in sharing life, food and experiences.

In daily interactions, conversations and opportunities by being positive role models in local and regional settings.

Positive disruption focused on an individual level, driven by a moral imperative and brave vulnerability can create a movement of enfranchised, knowledgeable, solid people focused on social justice not social judgement.

Eating or talking around a table builds individual and social value through real connection.

Recognise the common value of humanity and our vulnerability to build empathy and non-judgemental connection.

Knowing that someone understands, accepts and respects our values. 

Recognising and acknowledging value through relationships and being rather than achievements. 

Awareness of self and therefore others.

 

Jon Dorsett and Lou Andrews, part of our team and outstanding graphic harvesters (if you ever need any help!) turned this wisdom into a spider’s web of learning. This is a kind of framework for a renewed society, maybe! However, none of this is straightforward and my friend Roger Mitchell has also done some really helpful reflections of his own, in his excellent blog.

If we want to build a society based on love and kindness, we have to examine the value we place on people and the environment and the values which shape our society currently. That guy Jesus, once said, “What you value (treasure) is where your heart will be also….”

 

To finish the morning we had a reflective panel discussion – it was packed full of wisdom – enjoy!

 

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Love People! – Part 1

I’m currently in the process of hosting 4 conversations across Morecambe Bay on the following themes: ‘Love People’, ‘Love Society’, ‘Love Economics’ and ‘Love Politics’. We have people from all walks of society coming together to give space to imagine what life might be like if we built together on the foundations of love and kindness.

We decided to start the conversations off by talking about ‘Love People’ – because the reality is that unless we learn to really love people – which is gritty and hard at times, especially when it comes to loving those who are really different to us or even our enemies, we can never infuse society, economics or politics with a love that really brings transformation. Love like this requires deep forgiveness and serious guts! However, even loving those we consider our brothers and sisters can prove nigh on impossible at times and can even involve betrayal – how do we love through that?

We had a really rich day together. This blog has the first two inputs of the day (which helped form much of our conversation together). The next one will also let you in on the wonderful input from Sue Mitchell and others. Obviously – most of the day was left open for creative space and discussion – but I hope that these videos can give you a flavour of what we’re exploring and provoke some good conversations wherever you may be.

 

This first video is the opening, incredible contribution that Jaz Ampaw-Farr made to the whole process. Jaz lives with such amazing bravery, vulnerability and passion. She invites us to consider what it might mean to be 10% braver in how we love people – this is beautiful! Make yourself some time to enjoy!

 

This second video is the panel discussion, with some wonderful friends (Roger Mitchell, Jaz Ampaw-Farr, Siobhan Collingwood, Dave Higham and Mike Winter) followed some reflective questions which Jaz stirred in the room:

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s Time to Say #EnoughNow to Adverse Childhood Experiences

Tweet Last week, I had the utter privilege of co-hosting a conference with my good friend, Siobhan Collingwood, the head teacher at Morecambe Bay Community Primary School on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), at the Globe Arena. We both know the reality of ACEs every day in our communities (see my previous blog) and so wanted [Continue Reading …]

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How Do We Build a City That Works For Everyone?

Tweet I recently hosted a couple of conversations for people in the city of Lancaster, UK, in which we explored this question together: “How Do We Build a City that Works for Everyone?” We framed the conversation (which we had using a ‘World Café’)from two current and important concepts. Firstly, the great work of Kate [Continue Reading …]

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Facing Our Past, Finding a Better Future – Adverse Childhood Experiences

Tweet This week I had the privilege of listening to Prof Warren Larkin, advisor to the Department of Health on Adverse Childhood Experiences. This is something I’ve written about on this blog before and Warren has made me more determined than ever to keep talking about this profoundly important issue. This blog draws on his [Continue Reading …]

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Never Let a Good Crisis Go to Waste

Tweet So, the NHS is in another winter crisis. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a crisis  as: 1 A time of intense difficulty or danger. ‘the current economic crisis’ Mass noun ‘the monarchy was in crisis’ 1.1 A time when a difficult or important decision must be made. As modifier ‘the situation has reached crisis point’ [Continue Reading …]

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Health Spending in The North vs The South

Tweet A few months ago, I wrote a couple of blogs exploring the social justice issue that is the vast difference between the health spend in the North, compared to the South.   This week a graph was produced by HM Treasury to show how overall spending has changed across England since 2012. Here is [Continue Reading …]

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Healthy Schools

Tweet Last week, I had the privilege of being at Morecambe Bay Community Primary School. The school is a beacon of hope in this area. I found it extremely moving to walk round, with Siobhan Collingwood, the visionary and big-hearted headteacher and see the incredible love displayed by all staff towards the amazing children there. [Continue Reading …]

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Healthy Conversations

Tweet We live in a political climate in which it appears that those in power do not listen to the voices of the ‘multitude’ (e.g. with the current protests around the NHS and education), but press ahead with their own agendas regardless. This is not only true of the current government, but a symptom of [Continue Reading …]

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